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I haven't touched this much in a year. i wish I had a good reason why, but mostly I wanted to get that box off my dining room table so I stashed it away. You guys got most of the good letters. Strangely I also had every email ever sent to me in college printed out in a huge stack. Yeah, I really needed to keep that. :P
I'm thinking of leaving letters and posting terrible poetry. I have a green note book titled, "World History" that is full of poetry from about 1994-2003 and very badly drawn portraits of my friends at the time. Very. badly. drawn.
No doubt in my mind that World History was a class in HS that I took few notes in then decided it's grandiose theme would be just the right thing to hide my personal scribblings.
Poem, or Beauty Hurts Mr. Vinal
A photocopy of this ee cummings poem that I kept in a book by the same author since high school. I feel like has something to do with a guy I had a crush on.
take it from me kiddo
believe me
my country, 'tis of
you, land of the Cluett
Shirt Boston Garter and Spearmint
Girl With The Wrigley Eyes (of you
land of the Arrow Ide
and Earl &
Wilson
Collars) of you i
sing:land of Abraham Lincoln and Lydia E. Pinkham,
land above all of Just Add Hot Water And Serve--
from every B. V. D.
let freedom ring
amen. i do however protest, anent the un
-spontaneous and otherwise scented merde which
greets one (Everywhere Why) as divine poesy per
that and this radically defunct periodical. i would
suggest that certain ideas gestures
rhymes, like Gillette Razor Blades
having been used and reused
to the mystical moment of dullness emphatically are
Not To Be Resharpened. (Case in point
if we are to believe these gently O sweetly
melancholy trillers amid the thrillers
these crepuscular violinists among my and your
skyscrapers-- Helen & Cleopatra were Just Too Lovely,
The Snail's On The Thorn enter Morn and God's
In His andsoforth
do you get me?) according
to such supposedly indigenous
throstles Art is O World O Life
a formula: example, Turn Your Shirttails Into
Drawers and If It Isn't An Eastman It Isn't A
Kodak therefore my friends let
us now sing each and all fortissimo A-
mer
i
ca, I
love,
You. And there're a
hun-dred-mil-lion-oth-ers, like
all of you successfully if
delicately gelded (or spaded)
gentlemen (and ladies)-- pretty
littleliverpil-
heated-Nujolneeding-There's-A-Reason
americans (who tensetendoned and with
upward vacant eyes, painfully
perpetually crouched, quivering, upon the
sternly allotted sandpile
--how silently
emit a tiny violetflavoured nuisance: Odor?
ono.
comes out like a ribbon lies flat on the brush
take it from me kiddo
believe me
my country, 'tis of
you, land of the Cluett
Shirt Boston Garter and Spearmint
Girl With The Wrigley Eyes (of you
land of the Arrow Ide
and Earl &
Wilson
Collars) of you i
sing:land of Abraham Lincoln and Lydia E. Pinkham,
land above all of Just Add Hot Water And Serve--
from every B. V. D.
let freedom ring
amen. i do however protest, anent the un
-spontaneous and otherwise scented merde which
greets one (Everywhere Why) as divine poesy per
that and this radically defunct periodical. i would
suggest that certain ideas gestures
rhymes, like Gillette Razor Blades
having been used and reused
to the mystical moment of dullness emphatically are
Not To Be Resharpened. (Case in point
if we are to believe these gently O sweetly
melancholy trillers amid the thrillers
these crepuscular violinists among my and your
skyscrapers-- Helen & Cleopatra were Just Too Lovely,
The Snail's On The Thorn enter Morn and God's
In His andsoforth
do you get me?) according
to such supposedly indigenous
throstles Art is O World O Life
a formula: example, Turn Your Shirttails Into
Drawers and If It Isn't An Eastman It Isn't A
Kodak therefore my friends let
us now sing each and all fortissimo A-
mer
i
ca, I
love,
You. And there're a
hun-dred-mil-lion-oth-ers, like
all of you successfully if
delicately gelded (or spaded)
gentlemen (and ladies)-- pretty
littleliverpil-
heated-Nujolneeding-There's-A-Reason
americans (who tensetendoned and with
upward vacant eyes, painfully
perpetually crouched, quivering, upon the
sternly allotted sandpile
--how silently
emit a tiny violetflavoured nuisance: Odor?
ono.
comes out like a ribbon lies flat on the brush
Happy Valentine's Day
A song penned by Courtney for our band Kamikaze and the Super Speed Deal, freshman year. I can still hear Courtney singing it. We didn't know shit about love back then.
Love is like the Odyssey, It's long.
Sleeping are awake & reach for you
Love is like the tempting Siren's song
Lonely night & nothing you can do
Chorus:
There is no room in me
there is no room in me
there is no room in me
for you----------
Love is like Kalypso, never let you go
keep you safe from harm
Love is a lotus flower
forbidden and rare
longing for an embrace, it betrays you
Love is like being alone.
Love is like the Odyssey, It's long.
Sleeping are awake & reach for you
Love is like the tempting Siren's song
Lonely night & nothing you can do
Chorus:
There is no room in me
there is no room in me
there is no room in me
for you----------
Love is like Kalypso, never let you go
keep you safe from harm
Love is a lotus flower
forbidden and rare
longing for an embrace, it betrays you
Love is like being alone.
More good advice
I wanted to do a special Valentine's reveal, seeing as this collection is full of sentimentality. The best Valentine I kept was a large, red heart-shaped box with the hand painted message "I love you Stephanie" but my husband made a face every time he saw it and it disappeared years ago.
This letter is from a series. It's closest one to Valentine's and the best I could do. The professor mentioned here is the creative writing teacher that Courtney, Andrew and I had. He didn't like our stories one bit.
Morning has come and by fifty minutes satisfied itself as a new day. I think I'll make it matter. In some respect these hours will be key.
I find it strange the cleaning lady woke you up to inform she would be cleaning. What is it that a cleaning lady does? Regardless the trivial story was greatly appreciated. Concerning stories (trivial and otherwise) I still await a copy of yours. And how is it you can so easily be swayed by the criticism of one (your professor), and why is it I couldn't work that to my advantage? Nevertheless I wish to read your work, and will only be disappointing by it if never given the opportunity to do so.
Sorry to be so cryptic and whatever so that you didn't understand what I meant about Steve. I won't bother to explain. Actually I wonder why you mentioned it when there are infintatly more insignifcant details I'd rather addressed. Perhaps I should apologize again, sorry.
While not departed from the areas of sorry, extend my condolences to your friend Jenny. Guys are indeed terrible creatures, easily the weakness of our species. A soul is lucky to find a single decent one in many a lifetime. As for your guy trouble... I thought your release from Jeremy would make me happy (as you suggested it would) but it has not. I suppose the approximation of an abused cliche terms it proper: two sads don't make a happy. I want you so bad ('it's not that way, I wasn't born to lose you') but I want more for you to be happy. Concerning Jeremy there is damnable much I would like to extend, but that is not important right now. What is important is you. For whatever reason he cannot understand or accommodate and so I will, I understand! :)
Someone one advised never to let school get in the way of learning. That's pretty sound I think. I don't believe I'm the best suited to offer any advice about your college crisis, but I would like to try. Two thing seem apparent, Number 1: it's your life for a reason Number 2: you want to be a writer, and writers don't write for other people they write for themselves. What kind of education could possibly prepare you for such a vocation? Only everything that happens to you. You'll find few people who will give you anything you are not willing to take. So if you know what it is you want, and you can have it; grab it. It's only a potential universe for so long.
Perpetually Yours,
Hmm, I'll have to keep rooting around for something sappy. Certainly have some pledge of love I never had the courage to send.
This letter is from a series. It's closest one to Valentine's and the best I could do. The professor mentioned here is the creative writing teacher that Courtney, Andrew and I had. He didn't like our stories one bit.
February 12, 1997
Dear Stephanie,Morning has come and by fifty minutes satisfied itself as a new day. I think I'll make it matter. In some respect these hours will be key.
I find it strange the cleaning lady woke you up to inform she would be cleaning. What is it that a cleaning lady does? Regardless the trivial story was greatly appreciated. Concerning stories (trivial and otherwise) I still await a copy of yours. And how is it you can so easily be swayed by the criticism of one (your professor), and why is it I couldn't work that to my advantage? Nevertheless I wish to read your work, and will only be disappointing by it if never given the opportunity to do so.
Sorry to be so cryptic and whatever so that you didn't understand what I meant about Steve. I won't bother to explain. Actually I wonder why you mentioned it when there are infintatly more insignifcant details I'd rather addressed. Perhaps I should apologize again, sorry.
While not departed from the areas of sorry, extend my condolences to your friend Jenny. Guys are indeed terrible creatures, easily the weakness of our species. A soul is lucky to find a single decent one in many a lifetime. As for your guy trouble... I thought your release from Jeremy would make me happy (as you suggested it would) but it has not. I suppose the approximation of an abused cliche terms it proper: two sads don't make a happy. I want you so bad ('it's not that way, I wasn't born to lose you') but I want more for you to be happy. Concerning Jeremy there is damnable much I would like to extend, but that is not important right now. What is important is you. For whatever reason he cannot understand or accommodate and so I will, I understand! :)
Someone one advised never to let school get in the way of learning. That's pretty sound I think. I don't believe I'm the best suited to offer any advice about your college crisis, but I would like to try. Two thing seem apparent, Number 1: it's your life for a reason Number 2: you want to be a writer, and writers don't write for other people they write for themselves. What kind of education could possibly prepare you for such a vocation? Only everything that happens to you. You'll find few people who will give you anything you are not willing to take. So if you know what it is you want, and you can have it; grab it. It's only a potential universe for so long.
Perpetually Yours,
Hmm, I'll have to keep rooting around for something sappy. Certainly have some pledge of love I never had the courage to send.
Catholic School
This letter from my dearest high school pen pal is 7 pages long and written in hot pink colored pencil. FANTASTIC!! Circa late 1993, right after I moved away from MS and took up surfing, tanning and punk rock in Corpus Christi TX.
Hey Stephanie
How's life in Texas? Are there any fine guys? I think we have a shortage (slightly) out here. Well me and Theresa were sitting here doing nothing and decided to write you. Mr Davidson has been keeping us too busy so we're sorry we haven't written.
Well, hows your love life? Over the summer, Theresa's consisted of kissing Jaime Matthews in Romeo and Juliet. If you knew how fine he was, you would want to shoot her Well in July, I had a short & regretful fling with Jamie B. You don't have to chew me out, I have already been chewed out several times. In August, I started dating a friends of Buddy's Greg T. I really liked him and I was going with him (He's 18) until he cheated on me.
But he's still calling me, kissing my butt, and telling me how much he loves me. Theresa can't wait until I get rid of him. Kim & Tommy are still going together & everyday I find out about another girl he has slept with. Kim M. is still going with Buddy. They are always paranoid she is pregnant.
School is horrible. I have to do a report or presentation almost every week for either Mr. Davidson or Mr. Enriquez. Mr. Davidson has this thing about picking on me, and Mr. Enriquez is a Mr. Dav. wanna-be. Mr. MacKinnon is teaching us religion and we are taking a course about the holocaust. It is so boring.
Hey! This is Theresa putting my part in. Spanish is as boring as hell since we still have "Hermano Roberto" Simone always has to show off her knowledge of Spanish. Luckily there are people to entertain the class. The other day we played bumper cars with our desks in class while Bro. Robert turned around. He didn't notice until he turned back around. It was sooo funny. You should have seen the look on his face! Now here's Nicki again I'll come back again.
French II is great. All we do is square dance. Right now, we are making French stores and houses. We went to Memphis to see Napoleon (again). It was soo fun. All the way up there & back we put signs in the car window saying Help! We;ve been kidnapped!! Call my mommy! & "You're tire is low!" SO many people pulled over to check their tires, One person almsot called the police b/c he really though we were being kidnapped.
Well here's the gossip. Sara is big (ger) bitch! She goes and screws college guys on the weekends and takes Ginny with her. Stephanie P. is always getting high. She was hurt real bad in a car wreck a few weeks ago.
David H. is always screwing girls now. But mostly everyone else was pretty nice. Me & Theresa are in the key club & have to clean a highway tomorrow @ 9am. Fun. I was also elected to be a student council representative.
Our football team is sorry since we lost Roger Reed. Our Homecoming is Oct 29 & the theme is Halloween. We are playing Obannon & will probably lose. But our maids are Mimmie M. Lidsay F. The queen is Carol Cashion Meyer. Our float is called "Nightmare on Golf Street."
Well everyone is havig baby boys. Mrs Beverly has a 3 month old, Blake. Holly, my 15 year old cousin is married & has a 3 month old, Seth. Mrs. Dotson has a 3 week old, Jaime & Wendy my 18 year old cousin, has a 3 day old, Saxon Alexander. No, it's not a misprint.
LaDonna & Kim B. are both whores. They "offer thier services" to quite a few people nowadays. We still go to church on Wednesdays, even though it is very boring. We are going on a cotton ride tomoorw night, which might be fun.
I spend a lot of my free time in the downtown library doing research these days. I am finally able to take the car a lot. (Even at night! Aren't you proud!) However, I did get us lost last night in a bad neighborhood. Well my hand is tired so I'm letting Theresa take over.
PS Write back asap and send me a school picture. I'm getting copies made, so I'll send you one soon.
Hey! This is Theresa again. Thanks for sending me all those postcards this summer. There very entertaining. Guess what? I might go to California and visit my relatives this Christmas. It'll be so fun. Maybe I would have a layover in Texas and visit you. You could show me all the fine guys and stuff to do. So have you seen anyone you really like yet? Is he fine or nice or is he a great talker? Inquiring minds want to know. I've seen several fine guys around. They are just a lot older, like college age. Oh well! Anyway I've got to go now, it's one o;clock in the morning but don't forget to tell us what's going on. Write back soon.
W/B/A/S/A/P
L/Y/L/A/S
I <3 Greg!
PS If you ever get bored, read 1984 by George Orwell. I just read it for English & it's awesome!
Hey Stephanie
How's life in Texas? Are there any fine guys? I think we have a shortage (slightly) out here. Well me and Theresa were sitting here doing nothing and decided to write you. Mr Davidson has been keeping us too busy so we're sorry we haven't written.
Well, hows your love life? Over the summer, Theresa's consisted of kissing Jaime Matthews in Romeo and Juliet. If you knew how fine he was, you would want to shoot her Well in July, I had a short & regretful fling with Jamie B. You don't have to chew me out, I have already been chewed out several times. In August, I started dating a friends of Buddy's Greg T. I really liked him and I was going with him (He's 18) until he cheated on me.
But he's still calling me, kissing my butt, and telling me how much he loves me. Theresa can't wait until I get rid of him. Kim & Tommy are still going together & everyday I find out about another girl he has slept with. Kim M. is still going with Buddy. They are always paranoid she is pregnant.
School is horrible. I have to do a report or presentation almost every week for either Mr. Davidson or Mr. Enriquez. Mr. Davidson has this thing about picking on me, and Mr. Enriquez is a Mr. Dav. wanna-be. Mr. MacKinnon is teaching us religion and we are taking a course about the holocaust. It is so boring.
Hey! This is Theresa putting my part in. Spanish is as boring as hell since we still have "Hermano Roberto" Simone always has to show off her knowledge of Spanish. Luckily there are people to entertain the class. The other day we played bumper cars with our desks in class while Bro. Robert turned around. He didn't notice until he turned back around. It was sooo funny. You should have seen the look on his face! Now here's Nicki again I'll come back again.
French II is great. All we do is square dance. Right now, we are making French stores and houses. We went to Memphis to see Napoleon (again). It was soo fun. All the way up there & back we put signs in the car window saying Help! We;ve been kidnapped!! Call my mommy! & "You're tire is low!" SO many people pulled over to check their tires, One person almsot called the police b/c he really though we were being kidnapped.
Well here's the gossip. Sara is big (ger) bitch! She goes and screws college guys on the weekends and takes Ginny with her. Stephanie P. is always getting high. She was hurt real bad in a car wreck a few weeks ago.
David H. is always screwing girls now. But mostly everyone else was pretty nice. Me & Theresa are in the key club & have to clean a highway tomorrow @ 9am. Fun. I was also elected to be a student council representative.
Our football team is sorry since we lost Roger Reed. Our Homecoming is Oct 29 & the theme is Halloween. We are playing Obannon & will probably lose. But our maids are Mimmie M. Lidsay F. The queen is Carol Cashion Meyer. Our float is called "Nightmare on Golf Street."
Well everyone is havig baby boys. Mrs Beverly has a 3 month old, Blake. Holly, my 15 year old cousin is married & has a 3 month old, Seth. Mrs. Dotson has a 3 week old, Jaime & Wendy my 18 year old cousin, has a 3 day old, Saxon Alexander. No, it's not a misprint.
LaDonna & Kim B. are both whores. They "offer thier services" to quite a few people nowadays. We still go to church on Wednesdays, even though it is very boring. We are going on a cotton ride tomoorw night, which might be fun.
I spend a lot of my free time in the downtown library doing research these days. I am finally able to take the car a lot. (Even at night! Aren't you proud!) However, I did get us lost last night in a bad neighborhood. Well my hand is tired so I'm letting Theresa take over.
PS Write back asap and send me a school picture. I'm getting copies made, so I'll send you one soon.
Hey! This is Theresa again. Thanks for sending me all those postcards this summer. There very entertaining. Guess what? I might go to California and visit my relatives this Christmas. It'll be so fun. Maybe I would have a layover in Texas and visit you. You could show me all the fine guys and stuff to do. So have you seen anyone you really like yet? Is he fine or nice or is he a great talker? Inquiring minds want to know. I've seen several fine guys around. They are just a lot older, like college age. Oh well! Anyway I've got to go now, it's one o;clock in the morning but don't forget to tell us what's going on. Write back soon.
W/B/A/S/A/P
L/Y/L/A/S
I <3 Greg!
PS If you ever get bored, read 1984 by George Orwell. I just read it for English & it's awesome!
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